Sunday, March 9, 2008

movie woes

i loves me some movies.i am extremely passionate about film.movies are the ultimate escape,the best therapy,a beautiful reprieve from reality.of course,i often encounter problems due to my elevation of the experience.i purposely go alone to them because a)i do not want the responsibilty of another persons opinion,i have felt really bad in the past if a friend hates a movie i took them to see b)there is nothing more upsetting/annoying than talking during the movie(i have some chatty friends).that said,when i lived in kc my friend jason and i would always go to the movies together-he was the perfect movie companion and taught me some invaluable ways to deal with talkers.i have not found another person like jason to accompany me so i go alone.he had a three-step plan:1)casually glance at the talker,a quick turn of the head is all that is necessary.if the talker continues,move on to step 2)turn your whole body around or crane your neck and hold your gaze for approximately 5 seconds.step three was rarely used but i saw it once and it worked,although i could feel this persons eyes burning into the back of our heads for the duration of the movie 3)again,look directly at the offender and ask that they please be quiet/stop talking/shut the fuck up(the latter is a fantasy,courtesy of linda partridge from "magnolia")i will need another huge blog entry for that movie
thank you jason for teaching me these helpful steps.since i go by myself and memphis is the second most violent city in the country,i have yet to implement step 3.i remember when you could go to the movies and not have your senses depleted by advertising slide shows(i hope the "roof guys" see no new business for their bad marketing decision-why do you both think looking stern will make people want you to fix their roof?).and the coca cola company should be ashamed of all the stupid trivia they expose us to(i find myself always solving the fill-in-the-bottle-cap puzzles,unwillingly so-the answers are just so easy)and last but certainly not least,one cannot even have a moment of auditory peace during these slide shows because of the always horrific music piped one chooses to listen to these songs on their own.yesterday i went for the second time to see "there will be blood" and was subjected to tears for fears singing "sowing the seeds of love".i have always hated tears for fears,but that song sends me into a mental rage.the chorus is so stupid and in the beautiful surround sound stereo i heard all the noises that kurt and the other one who looks like an ogre made for the musical break.screams and cries and ramdom clangy noises,i guess meant to evoke the frustration of trying to sow these seeds of love.i was actually relieved when the commercials after the slide show but before the previews started.

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