ok so i have been obviously terribly down and nonverbal since my return.i am,literally,too sad to speak.so bear with me.i miss san pedro,my friends,the food and the reef and some fish.when my first boyfriend and i broke up,my dear friend brad gave me this poem by alice walker.every time i am having a hard time with a man i find myself turning to this and it helps me.i have shared it with many lady friends.it's time for an alice walker break!
Did This Happen to Your Mother?
Did Your Sister Throw Up a Lot?
I love a man who is not worth
Did this happen to your mother?
Did your grandmother wake up
for no good reason
in the middle of the night?
I thought love could be controlled.
Only behavior can be controlled.
By biting your tongue purple
rather than speak.
Mauling your lips.
Obliterating his number
to be able to phone.
Love has made me sick.
Did your sister throw up a lot?
Did your cousin complain
of a painful knot
in her back?
Did your aunt always
seem to have something else
troubling her mind?
I thought love would adapt itself
to my needs
But needs grow too fast;
they come up like weeds.
Through cracks in the conversation.
Through sliences in the dark.
Through everything you thought was concrete.
Such needful love has to be chopped out
or forced to wilt back,
poisoned by disapproval
from it's own soil.
This is bad news,for the conservationist.
My hand shakes before this killing.
My stomach sits jumpy in my chest. My chest is the Grand Canyon
over the world
Whoever he is,he is not worth all this.
And I will never
unclench my teeth long enough
to tell him so.
above is a photo of one of the dearest,most adoring men in my life,F.S. Fitzgerald of Inverness,Mississippi.If he had his way there would never have been a need for me to console myself with the above poem......one of the kindest,gentlest souls ever.we were in the cotton field behind his house and i do remember when this was snapped,and the sound of the stalks breaking as he walked me thru the field...